The Red Door conundrum

I’ve mentioned before how much I like the musical offerings at the Red Door — good singer/songwriters, good DJ music, and best of all, the occasional hip-hop artist. But I’ve also been pretty clear about my dislike of cover charges. Add in the high beer prices, and I rarely find myself stopping by the Red Door. Well, they haven’t added Brooklyn beer on tap yet (at least not that I know of), but it appears they are finally taking some steps to address my concerns.

For the Beer Drinkers who also enjoy good music, we give you… $2 PBR night at the Red Door! Every Monday, you can get a PBR for just two bucks. Sure, you can get a PBR tall for that much at the State Street Saloon (sometimes it even comes with a penis straw in it, but that’s a whole different story…), but the music at State Street usually consists of some ’80s tunes on the juke box, a far cry from what the Red Door has to offer.

Of course, there’s still the issue of that pesky suggested $5 cover charge at the Red Door. But hey, they do have to pay the performers…

– Mr. X

Mr. X flies south

The plan was hatched months ago — myself, Mayor McGrizzle and the Bassman would head to Florida in early December to visit our old friend The King of Beers.
“Don’t forget to pack your spare liver,” quipped the Mayor a few days before our departure last week. This was definitely gonna be a Beer Drinking trip. As I’m sure you know by now, I like to drink beer — a lot. But The King of Beers does it for a living. When he came to New Hampshire earlier this year, he had Shocktop put on tap at the bar we were going to for one night only, and was carrying a pitcher and pouring beers for people all night. So we had a pretty good idea of what we were in for last weekend.
The trip got off to a bit of a rough start when I went back to empty my bladder of the first two beers I had on the plane. The door was ajar, and the flight attendant motioned me toward the restroom. Well, wouldn’t you know it, some woman was sitting there on the can, and for some reason had decided not to close or lock the door. This was definitely not good naked. The only consolation was that the flight attendant felt so bad that she kept asking me for the rest of the flight if I wanted another beer — and she even comped me for one.
Needless to say, I had gotten off to a pretty good start before our plane landed. And before we had even gotten off the plane, The King of Beers was already telling us how excited he was for beerfest. Well, we naively assumed he was calling our weekend of drinking beerfest. But no — he was talking Beerfest with a capital B. We should have known. He actually had us going to an ourdoor Beerfest in a park as soon as we hit the ground — you know, the kind The Beer Drinker’s been clamoring for at Prescott Park, where you pay a reasonable amount at the door and get a small cup that you can use to sample various beers? Well, we got the little sippy cup, but we hardly used it. Because we were with the KOB, we not only got in free, but we wound up drinking from bottles — as many as we wanted. I wasn’t there five minutes before I was double fisting Red Hook ESBs, complete with the label saying they were brewed in Portsmouth.
The best beer related discovery of the weekend was Starr Hill, hands down. Apparently, it’s a brewery out of Virginia — you can’t get it yet in N.H. that I know of, but it’s pretty big in Florida. I tried their Dark Starr Stout, and it was amazing. It’s the best stout I’ve tried — better than Guinness or even Brooklyn’s stout.
The Beerfest itself was quite a scene, like something out of Mardi Gras — complete with a cross dresser on stage introducing the band, and a woman-who-might-have-actually-been-a-man getting his/her “breasts” spraypainted.
But I was focused on the beer. In addition to all that Red Hook, and the Dark Starr, I also tried something called the Bareknuckle Stout, a Bud product. It wasn’t very tasty, which probably has something to do with the fact that it’s been discontinued.
From the Beerfest, it was off to the bars. We hit a bunch of them, including Coyote Ugly, where the bartenders danced on the bar just like in the movie before challenging the four of us to a game of “Flip a Cup”. The game consists of taking a cup partially filled with beer, pounding the beer, and then trying to flip the cup from an upright position so that it lands with the mouth of the cup on the table. Sounds easy, but for us northerners who aren’t used to the game, it’s not. So all four of our opponents had already finished their drinks and flipped their cups before the KOB, our lead-off man, had downed his.
Apparently, one of the main reasons for the game’s popularity has to do with the abundance of plastic cups, due to the fact that the bars down there allow you to hop from bar to bar without finishing or dumping your beer. When you leave a bar, you just hand your unfinished beer to the door guy, and he pours it into a plastic cup that you can take to the next establishment. Not bad. The Beer Drinker, a big fan of places like Vegas and New Orleans where you can drink outdoors without fear of arrest or citation, would have loved it.
After Coyote Ugly, we hit a few more bars, including one where girls were hula hooping indoors, and another that smelled like a latrine and had X-rated videos playing on the TV screen (we all agreed we’re skipping that place next year). Then it was home, where I collapsed in a heap on the couch.
The next day we laid low, since Friday’s drinking was so heavy and we had a big day of boozing ahead of us on Sunday. We started off watching college football at the bar, drinking Shocktop and eating lunch. It was there that I tried another one of Starr Hill’s beers — The Love. As much as I enjoyed their stout, I just couldn’t stomach The Love. I’m not against beer with fruit in it, but this one had a banana flavor to it that was pretty disgusting. From there, I switched to Landshark, which are big down in Florida, even though I’m not a big fan of pale beers or Jimmy Buffet. I also tried the Bud Wheat, described as a lighter version of Shocktop. It wasn’t bad, but again, it wasn’t really my thing.
Later that night, it was off to a local bar, where we played pool while listening to heavy metal tunes from the ’80s and ’90s on the jukebox. By this time, all the beer drinking was starting to make me feel ill, so we bailed after an hour or two.
Sunday, we were up early because The King of Beers had scored us tickets to the Dolphins-Pats game, and we had to get there early to tailgate. By 10 a.m., I was already on my fourth Bud Lime (a relatively inoffensive fruity beer). To no one’s surprise, I wound up making an ass of myself, mocking the Dolphins fans for their ridiculous “Fins Up” rallying cry, and nearly getting my butt kicked a couple times.
After the game, we went to the home of a local Major League Baseball player we had been tailgaiting with for more drinking, food, and some air hockey. As with the previous night, the long day of drinking eventually caught up with us, and we went back to The King of Beers’ house before midnight and crashed fairly early.
We flew back the next day — this time no in-air beer or bathroom incidents — and landed back in the frozen tundra known as New Hampshire. It was an adventure to remember — one we’ll hopefully repeat again next year — but still, it’s good to be home.

– Mr. X

Ri Ra gets classy. The Beer Drinker runs out of brew.

I know Mr. X and I have been rough on Ri Ra from time to time for its cover charges, bad cover bands, its quick exodus of Baltic Porter this summer… But I got to admit when I walked by the place a couple of weeks ago I was pretty impressed.

Somebody spent some hard-earned scratch on two plaques out front to note that their locale once stood as the oldest bank in the U.S., first setting up shop in 1783 before what’s known as the Great Fire in 1802 wiped out most of downtown Portsmouth.

The federalist-style building that now stands there today was built a year later and is now registered in the National Register of Historic Places. There’s no mention of the saloon there, which I would have liked to have seen, but that’s fine. (Now, if they could only get rid of that hideous Portsmouth Jewelry Exchange sign.)

Ri Ra’s tutorial may be of little interest to you, my fellow Beer Drinkers. But it seems like everywhere I turn downtown these days, the city is being surrounded by new walls and there’s little mention of what was (or wasn’t) there before.

It makes a man think more than he should while he’s drinking his beer. Speaking of which, I just polished off that 12 pack of Sam Adams Winter Lager that I bought a couple of weeks ago.

If My Life Coach suddenly shows up at my door thirsty, I could be in for some trouble — unless of course, I find something in my mini-bar to tide him over.

– The Beer Drinker

What’s On Tap? Part II

OK, here we are with our second installment of “What’s On Tap?”  Today, we’ll be featuring the Coat of Arms, one of the BDR’s favorite drinking establishments. And though it’s a bit off the beaten path, we’ll also be letting you know what’s on tap over at the Stone Church in Newmarket, just because we like the place:

COAT OF ARMS:

Casks right now:

Fuggles IPA
Prelude
Old thumper

Taps:

Fullers London Pride
Guinness
Tennents Lager
Hoegaarden
Bass
Newcastle
PBR
Fullers ESB
Bellhaven Twisted thistle
Bellhaven Scottish ale
Stella Artois
Strongbow
Smithwicks Irish ale

The Coat also has hot mulled cider throughout the winter season.

STONE CHURCH:
Tuckerman’s Headwall
Pabst
Guinness
Blue Moon Pumpkin
Smuttynose Robust Porter
Red Hook Winterhook
Long Trail Blackbeary Wheat
Moat Mountain Czech Pilsner
Moat Mountain Blueberry
Smuttynose Old Brown Dog
Rogue Dead Guy
Sierra Nevada Celebration
Long Trail Ale

If you want my picks, I’m partial to the Smithwick’s (although you’d better pronounce it right) at the Coat and the Long Trail at the Church. Based on The Beer Drinker’s recommendation, I think I’d avoid the Moat Mountain Czech Pilsner. Oh, and don’t forget — if you own or work at a bar in or around Portsmouth and want to let us (and our readers) know what’s on tap at your establishment, e-mail us at iambeerdrinker@gmail.com

– Mr. X

Meeting up with Fredo and My Life Coach on pint night

I really had the best of intentions to make it over to The Rusty Hammer last night. On Wednesdays, they’re hosting a free comedy night from 8 p.m. to 10 p.m. I’m really not a big stand-up fan, but I figured the beer might make me laugh at the comedians — even if they’re not that funny.

But I told Tristan I would stop by The Press Room to check out the Wednesday pint night, which runs 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. It just so happened My Life Coach was in town and being a big fan of the PR (and saving money) he was loathe to miss out on such a deal. We talked about work and soon after Mrs. Life Coach (she hates that name) joined us for a pint.

I had texted Fredo hoping he’d be game for the comedy gig, and he was — but we never left our stools once we got talking.

It had been some weeks since I had seen Fredo. Our meetings have been few and far between since we broke up the band this summer. He and Tristan had another throwdown with their ice-water drinking compeition. Pretty rough stuff. Fredo won again, hands down and Tristan got a nasty head rush after a second race that replaced the water with soda water. Crazy kids.

Ice water aisde, Fredo was pretty enthused about the Moat Mountain Czech Pilsner on tap. He really likes the stuff, but something about the taste of it doesn’t sit well with me. When I hit The Old New England Brew Festival back in June, the Moat Mountain Smoke House Porter was a better match for my taste buds.

I shifted gears from my usual draft of Harpoon IPA for some Smuttynose Robust Porter. I really love the stuff, but if you don’t run it off afterward, you will be back in Freshman 15 land in no time.

I was actually hoping to get Mr. X out on Wednesday, but he was down in Beantown where he incidentally happened to catch an Avi & Celia gig. He didn’t report in (yet) what he had going for a draft but said that seeing the show felt like he was back in Portsmouth.

I really like Mr. X’s idea “What’s On Tap”. Pretty clever. For a while, I’ve been a fan of the blog that the Portsmouth Brewery has. I don’t go there often, but I do like to read what they have percolating on any given week, and when I see something I like, I do head on over. I will definitely want to try the Holidaze Porter once its ready.

Getting back to the Hammer for a minute, I heard someone say recently the place doesn’t have an impressive beer selection. It’s certainly not exotic, but that’s kind of the point of the place. The Hammer does one thing and does it very well. It serves some great staples for food and beer; mostly on the domestic side (say a cheeseburger and a Redhook ESB) and for a very affordable price.

Even Big Brother and the Little Man approved of the place when they visited town a few weeks ago, and they’re both pretty tough customers to please. Anyway, I still want to check out the comedy night.

– The Beer Drinker

Bella Sol opening delayed

As so often happens with new restaurants, it looks like the opening of Bella Sol in the old Bella Luna location has been delayed a bit. They had originally hoped to open in mid-November, but the sign in the front window has been changed to say that it will be opening in early December instead. As I mentioned above, this isn’t unusual with restaurants. Both Ri Ra and the Common Man experienced similar delays when they opened earlier this year.
In other opening/closing news, it appears that Poco’s has indeed reopened, as expected, following the construction of its new deck — at least that’s what the sign in the front window says. I tried to get a closer look at the new deck today, but that portion of Ceres Street is still shut off to thru traffic.

– Mr. X

One helluva beer

Looks like Sam Adams is once again pushing the limits of beer brewing. According to this story, the Boston-based brewer has now developed a beer that is 27 percent alcohol. The appropriately named Utopia goes for — wait for it — $150 a bottle, pretty much guaranteeing that Mr. X and The Beer Drinker will never try it, unless someone decides to send us a free sample.
Apparently, the beer is the result of an ongoing battle between Sam and the folks at Dogfish Head, who have been fighting it out to have the beer with the highest alcohol content in recent years. Apparently, the alcohol content of Utopia is so high that it’s even illegal in some states. Yikes.

– Mr. X

What’s On Tap?

Welcome to the first installment in a new semi-regular feature here at The Beer Drinking Report. It’s called “What’s On Tap?”, and in it we’ll try to let you know what new beers your local drinking establishments are serving. We encourage any of the local bars to e-mail us their beer selections (draft only, no bottles) at iambeerdrinker@yahoo.com

So for our first installment, we give you the Blue Mermaid, the Black Trumpet, and Portsmouth Gaslight Co.

NOW ON TAP AT THE BLUE MERMAID:
Sebago Slick Nick Winter Ale
Smuttynose Farmhouse Ale
Brooklyn East India Pale Ale
Moat Mountain Stout
Shipyard XXXX Imperial IPA
Harpoon UFO White
Smuttynose Star Island Single
Long Trail Hibernator 

NOW ON TAP AT THE BLACK TRUMPET:

Prima Pils, Victory Brewing, PA

Big A IPA, Smuttynose

Curieux, Allagash Brewing, ME

Monk’s Cafe Flemish Sour Red Ale

Peak Organic Maple Oat

Studly Monk, Manchester Brewing, NH

NOW ON TAP AT THE PORTSMOUTH GASLIGHT CO.:

Guinness

Allagash White

Tuckermans Pale Ale

Sam Lager

Long Trail Ale

Bud

Bud Light

Dogfish Head Indian Brown

I have to say, the Black Trumpet certainly seems to have the most exotic offerings. There’s several there that I’ve never tried at all, and that list has me thinking I’ll have to swing by sometime soon.

The Gaslight’s list is a bit dull, but I will say that I recently tried the Allagash White and loved it. And Long Trail, though readily available, is always tasty. I’m still not sure what everyone’s fascination with Dogfish is, though. I’m just not a fan.

The Mermaid scores points just for consistently keeping at least one Brooklyn beer on tap, though they really need to do something about that Star Island Single. Ugh.

– Mr. X

Thanksgiving Eve, aka, the third biggest drinking night of the year

You’ve got New Year’s Eve, you’ve got St. Patrick’s Day, and you’ve got the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving. Now, I’ve got no mathematical evidence to back this up, but in my mind, these are the three biggest drinking holidays of the year.

Why is this? I’m not sure, but here’s my theory — just about everyone comes home for Thanksgiving. And by home, I mean the place where you grew up. That means returning to a place with a lot of old friends you haven’t seen in a while. Maybe you’ve been away at college, or you moved away for work — whatever. Anyway, what better way to catch up with old friends than at a bar over a couple beers?

So why doesn’t this happen on Christmas Eve? Well, first of all, most people spend Christmas Eve at home with their family. And they typically have to get up early the next morning. With Thanksgiving, the night before the holiday holds very little significance for most people. And generally, the festivities get started later in the day, instead of in the morning. The perfect setup for some pre-holiday drinking.

I’ve always found that Portsmouth gets particularly crowded on Tryptophan Eve. My favorite place to go was always the Coat of Arms. No matter what, I’d always bump into a handful of people I went to high school with. And it was always packed.

My guess is that many of the local bars will be jammed with locals and former locals tonight as well. A number of places are offering specials to draw people in.

The Gaslight will have $3.50 Bud Light Harvest Wheat, and will be giving away free slices of pizza, too. And the Mermaid will have Shipyard XXXX Imperial IPA on special for $4 (that’s right, just $4 for a beer that sometimes goes for $7 or $8!). So you do not want to stay in.

The Dolphin Striker will also be a good place to stop by. Not sure if they’ll have any drink deals, but they will have Truffle playing live downstairs, which is a nice way to start the holiday weekend.
The Muddy River will have karaoke tonight, with $1.99 draft beer specials and 25-cent wings from 8 to 9 p.m. Yum.
And the Red Door, which always does it up big for the holidays, will be having a huge party, featuring Ryan Durkin and DJ Evaredy (one of Cresta’s faves), among others. They promise to be “massacre-ing the dance floor” and making everyone “a sweaty mess”. Sounds like fun. The shindig runs from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m., and it’s Ladies Night, so house martinis are just $5 for the fairer sex.

One place that won’t be offering any specials tonight will be Poco’s. Though they’d originally hoped to be open in time for the holiday after being closed for two weeks due to the construction of their new deck, they’re now telling us they won’t be ready to reopen until Friday — Saturday at the latest.

Oh, and don’t forget the actual Thanksgiving Day drinking — one of my favorite pasttimes. In response to Rachel Forrest’s recent query, I’m not sure what either myself or The Beer Drinker will be drinking this Thanksgiving, but my fondest Turkey Day beer drinking memories involve drinking Sam Adams with my grandfather. Not Sam winter, not Sam October — just straight Sam. I remember my grandfather (I’ll call him the Original Beer Drinker, or OBD for short) used to always bring over a 12-pack (sometimes more) of Sam for Thanksgiving. Every year, he and I would go beer for beer until he fell asleep. Good times. I miss that guy.

Actually, that sounds like a pretty good idea. Maybe I’ll grab a 12′er of Sam this Thanksgiving, and raise a bottle (or 6) to the OBD.

– Mr. X

Some fine dining experiences with The Beer Drinker

(photo: Philip Case Cohen, The Daily Portsmouth)

Back in the day, I used to run in the other direction when a woman would tell me that fine dining ranked among her favorite pastimes.

I mean, I’m generally not the guy who thinks it’s cool to shell out $35 for a plate that presents three scallops and three pieces of eggplant on the premise that it’s OK for a customer to starve because it looks pretty.

(unlessitwasyourgirlfriend’smother’sbirthdaylastweekendandyoudidn’tpicktherestaurant.) Ahem.

What was I saying?

Oh yeah… What I needed to know back then was if she could pass what I called the Good Will Hunting Test, (e.g. can you go to Gilly’s, eat a chili dog and have a good time with me?) If the answer was no, then the conversation probably ended right there. I mean, how on Earth would we be that couple who would be reaching for the same 6-pack like in those hot Miller Lite commercials if she couldn’t understand where I was coming from?

Having said that, there’s plenty of places around town these days to take a lady and still feel satisfied without breaking the bank. Best of all, you don’t have to class yourself up too much. (Just avoid that guy on Daniel St. who hawks the rat intestine and mustard, OK? She will be too grossed out to care about The Good Will Hunting Test.)

One joint you need to check out if you haven’t already is The Common Man on State Street. They have a fall menu filled with some real comfort food. I’m talking about that State Street Dip with lobster, spinach and smoked artichoke. I’ll admit it, I was that guy who tossed the last few crackers it comes with aside so I could mop it up with my bread. Don’t be afraid to do the same.

Follow it up with some rib eye and you’re in business. Don’t worry if she isn’t a red meat eater; they have fare of all sorts — from poultry to pasta. And don’t be a fool, wash it down with some Common Man Ale (made by Smuttynose). Note: skip the Pinot from the barrel; it tastes a little too Carlo Rossi, if you catch my drift. But the Pinots they have by the bottle are excellent. She will think you’ve got some reseerved class if you order a glass of that.

Dude, if you can’t find a decent and impressive meal at The Common Man, then take a hard look at your date and consider your options. If you need a backup place, I am a big fan of The Library in the fall and winter.The fireplace alone is an attractive draw as the winter grows near.

And, there’s a fairly talented new bartender there (didn’t catch his name) who knows how to put a gin martini together. Get your lady over there and enjoy a couple of appetizers and cocktails by the fireplace.
Esquire Magazine reported a few years back it was a great place for drinking alone, but obviously this man hadn’t spent too much time in town; otherwise he would know the dive bars are the better options for drinking alone.

– The Beer Drinker